Perspective pt. 2

It is amazing how quickly one's priorities can change. On Wednesday morning, my plan was set for the day. I would get off of work, go home and have some lunch, then spend the rest of the day working on homework. I'm coming down the home-stretch of the quarter, and everything is due at once. I knew what my priorities were. At about 1:10 in the afternoon, everything came to a standstill.

I received a call that changed my world. My brother-in-law, a man I have loved for over 30 years, had died. At the age of 45, one of my dearest and closest friends was gone. He hadn't been ill, we'd had no warning, he had gone to bed saying he wasn't feeling well and passed away in his sleep.

There is no way to prepare for something like this. My girls and I were beside ourselves. He had been more of a dad to them in recent years than their own father had been. He was a friend to everyone who met him. This was a good man with a generous heart. Extremely likeable and always compassionate.

I remember him saying to me more than once, "You're not my sister-in-law; you're my sister." And that's how it always was with him. He was my brother. It didn't matter that I was no longer married to his brother, and it didn't matter to him that some of his other family members were not continuing to have a relationship with me. He assured me, "You're still family."

There were all those thoughts that my daughters put into words, "He's the reason I wanted to be a cosmetologist." "I was going to work with him." "He was going to teach me everything he knows." And the most heartbreaking of all, "He was going to walk me down the aisle."

We have spent the last couple of days going through the motions of life. It's amazing how physically exhausting it is to grieve someone you love. And there is absolutely no way to really focus on anything else for any length of time. All those things that a few days ago seemed so important have taken a back seat.

We'll continue to go through the motions. I'm working on homework, the girls are getting to work and school. But all the joy is gone for now. Every once-in-a-while one of us will burst into tears for a few minutes, then we get back to what we were doing. We'll say good-bye next week to our dear, beloved friend, brother, tio, nino...and life will resume.

But our perspective on life is being challenged. I pray that family and friends will take this time to think about how short life can be; how unpredictable it is. This should be a wake-up call to each of us to remember that our days are numbered. My brother did know the Lord. I trust that he was judged mercifully. And I know that one day we will be together again in God's perfect timing.

Until then, rest in peace, my dear friend. I love you, Juan.